Old College Try: Subzero Edition

I've spent the last 24 hours running from a certain sepulchre of arctic cold.

Yesterday, I drove to work (Menards) in Easter-like temps-- 40 degrees and bare spots showing in the melting parking lot.

Too good to be true.  Five hours pass, and Hurricane Winter arrives.  The parking lot is REAL FROZEN, and my unit (now payroll-restricted to two people-- me and a manager) is ordered to fix it.  

I'm hunched over the steering wheel of a lift truck.  My eyes are stinging.  My body is threatening to go blue and die.  My manager is taking shovelfuls of salt and flinging them on the newly-formed ice glaze.  I'm laughing, because I do enjoy weather terror.  We tossed 600 pounds of salt in an hour or so, him chucking and trying not to slip, and me wondering how much I can laugh before he wonders what's so funny about driving a forklift.

I punch out at 7:22, still covered in salt the wind had beaten into the threads in my corduroys and hoodie.

Now, I'm at Wal-Mart, trying to find Target shoppers who migrated on price to the "other place."  I find one in the camera department.  He has the "look" of an urbane Target shopper. He also has an obsession with the display models.  He holds his security-tethered camera like an artifact, at arms length, determined to decipher its complexities.

As a retailer, any retail news tends to sink in a bit more.

"When the bottom begins to fall, price-point retailers become a haven for penny pinchers."  This is all the retail beatwriters can write anymore, so if you've read the business page once this quarter, you're already sick of it.  Wal-Mart is finally beating Target.  Again.  After four years of the Bullseye Brigade, the recession has put a damper on Target's overachieving. 

Don't worry.  There's always Spam to put Minnesota back on the map.  You may not have heard, but the Minnesota-based Hormel plant has been running overtime shifts for months.  Spam sales follow an inverse relation to the strength of the economy.

After the mini-blizzard, I finally made it home to spend a bit of time with my friend, Ryan.

We enjoy a bit of cinematic malpractice, courtesy of the much-hated director Uwe Boll.  Jason Statham leads as "Farmer" in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.  It's a terribly-made movie based on a video game.  It's either the DVD or the production, but the audio is so bad in spots that my buddy thinks I'm farting and not saying anything.  You must see a Uwe Boll before you die.  

On the way back to drop off Ryan at his place, the inside of the windshield ices up, save for 4 "portholes" where the defroster blows.  It reminds me of the Day After Tomorrow.

The drive continues.  Stopped by flashing red lights and crossing arms, I stretch my gloved hand out the window to wave to a train conductor, who I imagine must be a bit lonely.  We are two souls lost in the frost.

Farther west on Main Street, an umbrella-toting madman makes a run for my car.  At first I figured he was suicidal, but then I realized the windblocking umbrella also blocks 100% of his vision.  Genius.  I stop him with my horn and keep driving.

They say it's going to be record-setting cold tonight.  It's just another day for these Minnesotans, of whom I seem to fit with rather well. 

Be smart.  Leave yourself options to stay alive.  Cold like this kills and maims.

It's -6F now.  

Booyakasha, that's low!

 

Decision Speed (When you absolutely must take off)

Hello! You have found the second chapter in a unique note series on slaying apathy in the world. Decision Speed is a concept I'm beginning to execute after several months of intense soul searching-- not fun, but it was worth it. I invite you to come along with me as I write my magnum opus after too many years of university training (Tommy Boy territory- eek! but the end is nearing) and respond to God's pressing call on my heart to find others who feel likewise and strategize for the future. I've chosen Facebook as my medium, because everyone is here. As for me, I'm a journo major and a thinker. I read way too much and occasionally pop outside my cave for a good dose of outdoors. Basically, Decision Speed is what I was made to write. Don't care? Then, the first blog is for you. MY PROMISE: Like an antique show in Tokyo, I'll blend the old and the new, the historical and the futuristic. I won't lie-- these are blogs about social change. Even if you hate change, if you have even the loosest affiliation with Jesus or church, I believe you'll want to hear what I have to say. I am no stranger to the art of publishing-- I just hope I can keep your interest long enough to get to the good stuff. I have little desire to publish or to be heard online-- in fact, I prefer coffee shop discussions with good friends. Although I've written a few blogs, I haven't organized my ideas around a central concept like Decision Speed. In fact, it is the dire situation that has brought me into the court of Internet opinion. If you didn't know, decision speed is the predetermined airspeed which a pilot knows he must pull on the yoke and put his plane in the air. Below decision, you stay on the runway and slam on the brakes. Above decision, you must fly. I am writing this series because I have reached the point in my life where I can no longer slam on the brakes. I know many are arriving here as well. We are go for takeoff. I have a burning desire to tell the truth-- and once chance to do it. Quickly, I'd like to say thanks for browsing. I love to hear from people who agree, disagree, or who just enjoy writing things in boxes. It's best to start with The Gate, which serves as a precursor to this series. If you've interacted with that note, you've seen how caring is daring and have begun to consider your own life. Many of us are pushed to the limit with family, work and a myriad of social commitments. We are busy. We guard our time! Yet, you read on, cautiously, because you're waiting for the slaying I promised. You're waiting for something decisive to come and blast the stupid out of this messed-up world. Get ready for football metaphors. You're waiting for a touchdown or a turnover. But it's HALFTIME. Welcome to Decision Speed. In Decision Speed, I'll tell the score (hint: a few field goals won't get us back in this one) and why our game plan absolutely must change for the second half of the game. After this chapter, I promise I'm done with football metaphors. Go [insert your favorite playoff team here]! Your faithful culture wonk, Andrew

Critical Mass

Where have all the cheerleaders gone
Men and women of yesterday’s dawn?
Who slaved and bled to make us great
Who believed in something not fashionable of late

Hope

They are dead
Or they fled
Or they just let it all run out, like an astronaut who lost his tether, 
Floating gently in the black expanse

Today,
Everyone’s a critic
Everyone’s a sharp
Nitpick

Finding fault in others’ work
Lamenting always
And comforted only by the sounds of their own
Crying, complaining and carrying on

I’ll sign your petition
After I hit you in the mouth
Look away, you reformer
Of nothing. That’s what I always do

Seasoned liars, we are
Always looking for,
And finding comfortable ways
To evade our true greatness

Belief is positively
The only way to go forward
To seize the day
And pave the way

And now we are floating
In a big melting pot
Of fantastically unique
Little people

And the sum of our parts
Stands a chance to reckon
For a moment in time
The audacity of Hope

Apathy Slayer 101 (Must select Awareness Lab)

World seems smaller, these days.  It's shrinking every year.  

1, 2, 3-- it's smaller than 1993.  

4, 5, 6-- it's smaller than 1996.  

7, 8, 9-- I know what you ate for dinner last night, Facebook updater extraordinaire.  

Ever wonder what all this connectivity means?  

The lightning storm of modern-day media has changed how I think about responsibility.  The level of connectivity and ease of access require, at minimum, a new level of awareness, if not action.  The belief: "It doesn't affect me" doesn't work anymore, because in a global economy, everything affects everyone.  

I'll break that down, because I hate to recycle Tom Friedman or the sustainability creed.

My college newspaper polled five students for a "man-on-the-street" interview.  We asked them to talk about a long transit strike that had taken the busses of the streets for weeks. Responses were mixed, until we found one girl who didn't know about the bus strike.  We printed that.

Everything affects everyone, whether you know about it or not.  Google "chaos theory" and try to wrap your mind around the mathematical model more commonly known as the "Butterfly Effect."

Remember the "least of these," even though he lives 5,000 miles away, because you just saw his picture online.  He looks hungry.  And sick.

This isn't a guilt trip, friends.  It's an encouragement to live every day on purpose, to enjoy every moment, and to care.  

We have all been granted, at minimum, the currency of time.  Mindful of the value of your time, I keep my blogs short!

Spend wisely.  The future is constructed by gazillions of tiny choices made by people just like you.  

-Andrew

Day two

Hello again.  I enter Day Two of my daily writing exercise.  The result may be as disjointed as a Chinese contortionist, but you'd watch that contortionist anyways, right?  Let's catch up.

BLACK IS BACK.  As of last summer, I have started thinking again.  About the same time that I restarted reading and thinking, I also started copywriting.  

So my sentences got shorter.  For necessity.  It's your fault!  It's your short attention span!  And mine, too . . .

 

Moreover, I started reading every retail zoomer, direct mailer, Internet banner, church bulletin, nonprofit flyer, newspaper circular, mail-order catalog, DVD box, corporate tagline, fast food bag, blog, light rail side panel, V-log, dog collar, etc . . . I could find.  I must etcetera because every day the marketers manage to cover another inch of our viewing space with messages.  Their latest invention is airline tray table ads.  I can't wait to finish Skymall and start on my tray!

I read Claude C. Hopkins, who is to copywriting what Freud is to psychology, and I found a terse and confident writer, unafraid to sell but entirely wary of making a mess with someone else's money.

Seth Godin is another favorite of mine.  He is a marketing guru who every day will deliver an insightful blog to your inbox.  It's no wonder he's Top 25 in the blogosphere (#14).  Yeah, he wrote Purple Cow.  You might know that one. 

I read Jesus.  Like every good itinerant preacher, he knew his theology, but he told stories instead.  People love stories!  We're wired for stories.  We're hard-wired to appreciate God's meta-narrative.  It's a BIG STORY, and we're part of it!

I don't know if I'll succeed in copywriting, but I like it.  I have always loved the short piece, the one that punches you in the gut.  Whereas many wish to write the great American novel, I want to write round after round of meaningful copy that will engage the imaginations of my readers.

I love people.  I love writing for people.  I like when writing can bring people together.  I don't need an audience, but thinking about my readers makes me want to suck less.  That matters.

"You can't bat .300 in this league." -A sage creative director I met a few weeks ago

That's all for today.  This took me 45 minutes to write, 15 minutes to edit and many hours to ponder.  I'm publishing on Day 3, because unless I can find an editor on demand, I leave a day between "comp" and "pub"!

-Andrew

 

Back on solid ground

Hello, friends and friends-to-be.  I have decided I will publish more frequently.  I am not sure what shape my writings will take, but I know that writing must become a daily discipline. Without the guidance of the muse, I must rely on whatever I can muster at the moment.  I don't believe in muses, anyway.  Hard work is what makes any good writer.  I don't want to be good as much as I want to keep it real.  You know, REAL GOOD.  

So, this morning I was doing my exercises in the Cashman book Leadership from the Inside Out, and I discovered I have some very limiting beliefs.  I've known for a long time things needed to change (inside me).  After an intense and scary journaling session, I found myself feeling more happy and free. 

It's like a little glow inside.  It's congruency.

That's all I've got for today.  I hope you stick with me; I might come up with something good.  In the meantime, may your presence be a gift to all those around you.  That's Cashman again :-)

-Andrew