Top 10: You know it's spring when you're out jogging and . . .

10) Suddenly, you feel hot, white and red all over. Caucasian pale monster! Run!
9) Your panting sounds worse than usual. It must be the sedentary months you spent in your snow cave.
8) The sand is not reminiscent of Siberian Beachfest '04. It gives.
7) Critters!
6) You take off your shirt, and your nipples remain soft and comfortable. Yeah, I said that.
5) A pickup truck full of Mexican roofers almost runs you off the road.
4) You remember there's no way you should be out with finals week so near.
3) Screw the finals! It's sunny today!
2) Insatiable thirst! Why am I so thirsty? What's going on? *Thud*
1) Welcome to Stankonia. The air is blooming with odors of moist foliage and thawing animal feces. Yum! Let's do another mile!